Change

The focus of my big question is changing as I am changing. At the beginning of the year i was really focused on fate and intuition and following your gut cause I tended to think too much about things. But now, though I think about my actions and make concious decisions I personally believe that every action in this world happens for a reason and life is a chain of events, like dominoes and intuition may lead you on the right path and blah blah blah but in the end it really doesn't matter. Right now I'm starting to appreciate people's differences. Although I don't agree with organized religion at all I can understand and appreciate why people are drawn to it. Portrait of an artist was great for this. I only understood Stephen because Helen is very much like him and through our friendship I have gained a partial understanding of a kind of thought different from my own which dripps with scathing sarcasim and scepticism. Reading Portrait was a release for me, a chance to see beauty through someone elses eyes that appreciates it differently and perhaps more than I do. However I do not want to write an essay on how "every person is different and important in their own way". So many of the essays I read were corny and full of cliches and that is not something I enjoy. But a paper in my own voice always seems to come across bitter and angsty which is worse. Something truthful like Portrait is nearly impossible. James Joyce is a genius for being able to capture honesty and innocence in it's purest form and I respect him greatly for that. But I feel like I've become disenchanted with life this year and so am not sure what to write about anymore. I suppose disenchantment is a common theme. Stephen, Denver, Sethe, Mersault and many other characters share that experience in the novels we've read this year. Denver, when she learns the meaning of her mothers crimes, Sethe, when she learns of Beloved's hatred for her, Mersault when he gave up school, and Stephen when he cannot find a place where his views are seen as at all valid. But I'm not sure I could write on that subject without becoming severely depressed. I love these novels and I'm afraid that writing on them yet again will taint the incredible ideas they present.

C&P

A big part of intuition is a conscience. In Crime and Punishment Rodya's curiosity about the acquisition of power and the murder es he commit wear on his conscience. Rodya refuses to admit that he has done anything "wrong" and ignores the small part of him that suggests that he turn himself in. However, Sonya seems to act almost as an outsider conscience and with her help he does accept his societal punishment but really his biggest punishments (sickness and madness) come from within. Crime and Punishment suggests that the consequences for not listening to your intuition or your conscience leads to more problems in your life that take you farther off the path that is your destiny.

Intuition and Oedipus

Oedipus believes that he can escape his fate but his intuition leads him into the midst of the disaster he was hoping to avoid. Oedipus was fated to murder his father and marry his mother, and his intuition lead him to where he NEEDED to be. He felt sure that if he left the home and the parents he had always known that he would be able to escape that fate. Unfortunately that was what led him to his doom. Again, Oedipus had self-confidence in spades and so always seemed to trust is instincts. Intuition also leads Oedipus to his fate.

Intuition and Summer Reading

I believe that your intuition is life's way of pushing you towards your destiny. When you ignore what you know is right for you, you stray from your destiny. For example, yesterday I drove home a way I have never driven before even though I knew that it made more sense for me to drive the other way. I got a speeding ticket for going 35 in a school zone 10 minutes after the school zone time ended. I will never be driving that way home again.
In the Odyssey, Odysseus trusts in signs from the gods and trusts that he is doing what is right. He never second guesses his actions because he never goes against what he is feeling at the moment. As a class we thought that that might be because he is so self absorbed but I believe it is because he has faith in himself. Everything he does leads him to yet another person willing to help him return to his family. His intuition leads him to trust the gods and the plan they have for him. But in Plainsong, the characters go against what they know is good for them and wind up in terrible situations with lives they never intended to have. Sharlene knows that her relationship is detrimental to her well being and Guthrie knows that he and his wife no longer care for eachother yet both cling to their current situation and their past. On the other hand, Victoria follows her intuition and finds herself in the best possible place she could be with her unborn child. She ends up in a caring and respectful environment that helps her become a responsible young mother. It seems that the more self-confidence a character has, the more likely they are to follow their intuition.